Sometimes you just got to accept whatever comes and just quietly die a little inside. Life's like that. Pondering or losing sleep over why it happens isn't a very productive process of life. How much time is wasted trying to discern why such things happen? Undoubtedly, these things happen, and I do not like them at all! I question, why? Or how? These questions always rise to the surface just as I keep writing about them. They never end. Life is just like that. You need to lie back and take a beating and, just die a little inside. Easy to say, yes, but it's the sad and ugly truth. Just kill yourself if you can't accept this sad sorry state of truth that exists. It's all just so fucked up. Why can't I take it lying down? Why am I so pissed and irritated that people are doing better than me? It's bound to happen. I just. Don't know why I feel this way. Fuck you John.